How to get your kids to start to eat better.

When our children are first born, we venture to feed them the most nutritious and pure foods we can get our hands on.  I remember feeling like I was contaminating my newly born child if once we finished breastfeeding, we chose the wrong formula.  Then once we moved onto solids – I fed our babies organic, even though we were not eating much organic ourselves, at that point.  But, for most of us, as our buds grow, so too does their independence and often children seek to exercise that independence at mealtimes.  So mealtimes can suddenly become a battleground.  These kids might take a LONG time to eat their meal and only after much cajoling and encouragement.  Sometimes the child might flat-out refuse to eat the given meal, which causes stress for all concerned.  Mealtimes have gone from being easy and straightforward to a regular battle and one that we start to give up on, as we simply cannot muster up the energy to face that fight one more time.  We start to leave out the foods that are causing the pain and we feed them foods that are our path of least resistance.  Often these foods are the highly marketed ‘kids foods’ available in huge varieties and quantities in our local supermarket.  We rationalise it to ourselves that the supermarkets would not market foods for kids if they were not suitable and healthy for kids.  But, the reality is that most of these are processed meals / foods that we wouldn’t even dream of eating and they bear little resemblance to real food.  It is easier though, so we do it… and I’m not judging you – I did this for along time, too!  Anything, that removes one of the many stressors that we encounter in the course of the day as a parent, right?  Mealtimes are now a little easier….. phew.

The only issue is now that we know how important it is to start to get our kids to eat better (see previous blog, if you missed it) and these foods simply don’t cut it.  They are nutritionally deficient.  In most cases they include something that we don’t want to be there – whether that be artificial preservatives, colours of flavours; hydrogenated oils/ fats; processed meats; or too much sugar or salt or both!  Our children are not learning HOW to eat better.  Look at a “children’s menu” in any restaurant: hot dogs, burgers, pizza, fries, mac and cheese, fried chicken, ice cream and a sugary drink are the standard fare. This just reinforces that that is what kids eat (apparently!) – even while mum & dad enjoy a highly nutritious meal of whole foods and quality protein!   However, when children learn to eat and desire these food items while young, unfortunately in most cases, the preferences don’t change much as they get older.

So HOW do we get kids to eat better food?

This is a major stumbling block for most parents, and it was for me, too. As a new mum, I used to feel guilty for making my kids eat things that they didn’t like (yes broccoli, I’m talking to you!). I felt so uncomfortable at the thought of them ‘going hungry’, even if it was only for one meal! Then I started to realize how much they liked and then really wanted the unhealthy foods and how in this process, they were becoming increasingly resistant to healthy foods that I knew something had to change.

We all know what kids should be eating – but oftentimes, it is NOT easy.  Here are a few suggestions as to HOW you get your kids to eat better, that have worked with our kids and our friend’s kids:

• Give other rewards to your kids, just not food.  Most, if not all, kids respond to sweets and treats as a reward for a particular behaviour.  But all this does is begin to set up some tricky lifelong habits that are very difficult to break.  Find a commodity that means something to your particular children and use it to your advantage – maybe it is screen time that is a reward, maybe it is special time with you, maybe it is the choice of the family activity that the child earns, a trip to the movies, have a friend over for a play…. be creative.  Offering sweets to reward good behaviour or to stop negative behaviour might be the path of least resistance, but it is not great in the long term.
• No food should be forbidden.  Excessive control by parents may have negative impacts on child food intake and weight status, so don’t ever outlaw foods – you just don’t need to be buying it yourself. Forbidding foods can develop an unhealthy relationship with certain foods and can lead to the opposite outcome, where that food is binged on, given the opportunity.  So, no food should be forbidden, it just does NOT need to be part of what you are serving at home.
• Just start serving the healthy food, little by little. Just start to introduce the new foods. Only put a little on their plates but require them to eat it before they eat anything else. If they “aren’t hungry” or don’t want to eat it, don’t push it, but don’t give them other food. They won’t starve from missing one meal (or two) because they are being picky.
• Plan the meals and let everyone pick a dinner. This is best for children that are a little older.  I have list of nutritious dinners that they can choose from and each child gets two picks each week.  Giving the kids ownership over what they are eating at nighttime, is quite empowering for them and seems to help with getting them to eat it – without the usual carry-on.
• Do NOT become a short order cook.  Ever.  Either they eat what you have prepared or they eat nothing.  They will quickly start attempting to eat what is in front of them.  Options will reinforce that they don’t have to eat your ‘healthy’ food, if they dig their heels in long enough…. sets up more battles (and work) for you in the future.
• Don’t over do the snacks.  Too much snacking will definitely interfere with hunger levels.  Sometimes holding off snack time so that the kids are a little hungrier at main meal times is a good option too.  For a long time, we minimised afternoon tea, and bought dinner forward so that the kids were really ready by dinner time and would most often devour their dinner (which in most cases is a more nutritious and planned-out meal).
• Get the kids cooking (and gardening). Let your kids help with food preparation so they feel involved and invested in making healthy choices. If you can, let your children go to the store (or even better your own garden!) and help pick out their choice of fruits and veggies so they will be more likely to want to try them.  When time allows, teach them how to prepare nutritious, tasty food. Remember though, KISS (keep it simple, sisters!) It might be as basic as an omelette.  The bonus down the track too, is that when they have left home, they can look after themselves with good nutrition.
• Make food palatable – go ahead and top vegetables with a little butter (never margarine) and celtic sea salt (not table salt).  Nobody likes ‘boring’ food, even us, and kids need to learn that nutritious food can taste good too. You will find your little ones far more likely to eat it, if it actually tastes good!;
• Make food look good.  Eating begins with the eyes.  Visual appeal is very important with food too, as a new study at Oxford University has found.  Their study “has proven beyond doubt that making something look good makes it effectively taste better too”. So don’t just ‘plop’ the kids’ food down and expect them to get excited about it – would you? A little thought to colour, texture and visual appeal could go along way!
• Don’t underestimate them. Talk to your kids about why some foods are healthy for their body and some aren’t as good a choice.  When appropriate, let them make their own choices.  The more they understand about how much food impacts what they can do, how they feel, how much they will grow, how well they will perform, or how big their muscles will grow – the more likely they will be to accept your choices.  Also show older children articles that see online or in newspapers, documentaries on tv – they are old enough to understand most of the discussion and this will help them to make better choices, in later life if they have a greater understanding that what they eat, has the implications on their health. Pick someone that they look up to and explain how that person “eats lots of vegetables” to stay at the top of their game.  This in itself can impress even the most stubborn little ones (if they are old enough), particularly boys with their favourite sports heroes.
• Limit ‘sometimes’ foods.  Feeding our kids JUNK food every day, is not just a part of “being a kid” or some sort of rite of passage. My kids are bombarded with ‘treats’ on an almost daily basis at school, friends’ houses, after sport games (don’t get me started on this!), at parties, on holidays – they really do not need me to be buying them this food as part of our daily diet.  They are taught the concept of “sometimes” foods from an early age – ‘sometimes’ foods should remain just that and should never be part of your weekly shop.  They will get access to their ‘sometimes’ foods enough, without it being a regular pantry staple at home.

When it comes to food choices, kids are really on top of what they are eating and what their friends are eating, and I believe that you need to be careful to never ‘diss’ another parent’s choice of food (kids talk, people!!) When they query or declare that “did you know that X has a cupcake AND a packet of chips EVERY DAY” resist the temptation to say what you really think about that.  I tell my kids that because of my job, I know a lot of new information about nutrition and that other parents possibly don’t know quite as much, just like I don’t know so much about their job and they seem to like this explanation.  Although I do think that sometimes they wish for a parent who knew LESS about nutrition, but hey, we can’t all get what we want 😉

Impact of Parenting styles

At the end of the day though, a lot of what our children do is learned from us, even with what they eat.  If you are fussy, chances are the kids will be too.  If you constantly binge, even snack on junk food, that ‘s what your kids will want to do.  But, by the same token, if you eat well portioned and more nutritious choices, kids will pick up on that too. In combination with what is known about the effect of parental modeling on children’s eating behaviours there is consistent evidence that the responsive “do as I do” approach has a stronger positive effect on children’s consumption patterns than the unresponsive “do as I say” approach to parenting1.

We, as parents, exercise our authority in so many other aspects of our kids’ lives, but at mealtime even the most hardcore parents, can crumble to avoid the confrontation. We wouldn’t dream of letting our little ones stay up three hours past bedtime on a school night, riding in a car without their seatbelt or go without washing their hands or their clothes regularly, but we routinely concede on healthy eating, even though it can have a more detrimental effect than dirty clothes or staying up late!  We too know firsthand that with kids, it is always a case of picking your battles, but we feel strongly that nutrition might just be one of those cases.

If you missed our previous article on WHY it is important to get your kids to start eating better – find it here.

Next up in our KIDS NUTRITION series is the WHAT? where we dive into What you need to be feeding them, thanks to the gorgeous Carissa Mason, Nutritionist.

Did you find this helpful?  Please let us know what you thought, below.

1. Influences on the Development of Children’s Eating Behaviours: From Infancy to Adolescence  Dr. Leann Birch, Jennifer S. Savage, and Alison Ventura MNIH